Well Ain't That Just a Kick in the Teeth

I turned forty a few weeks ago.  I wasn't worried about it.  Wasn't agonizing over it.  I was actually in a pretty good place.  I liked my job.  Liked my coworkers.  Liked my boss.  I was finally getting caught up a little bit financially...well, getting into a position where I could conceivably start to try to get caught up, at least.  My husband and I were getting along pretty well...no mean feat after ten years.  I had even managed to dodge the obligatory family birthday dinner.

I went to work that morning feeling good.  My office buddy, Lesley, had decorated my cubicle with balloons and streamers.  She had given me a ride the night before so I knew she had to have turned back and gone to the office after hours to decorate.  I smiled at how lucky I was to work with someone like her.

My boss came in around noon to buy us lunch to celebrate my big day.  She came in and closed the office door behind her, quickly wished me a happy birthday, and then said the words no one wants to hear, "I've got to talk to you guys about something".

It seems the company had decided to restructure.  Just a couple of months after spending thousands of dollars to build us a new office, they had pulled the plug.  It came as a shock to all of us, but there it was.  Our final day was set for December 31st.  Our jobs were going to be handled by someone out in California.

I tried to keep my anger in check.  I tried not to be sad.  I tried to go on with my day and do my job as best I could.  I was too distracted to be successful.  Not all that much work got done.

That night when I got home, I ignored the phone calls from friends and family. I didn't want to talk to anyone.  I certainly didn't want to discuss the turn my day had taken.

As the days went by, I continued to try to keep a good attitude.  At least I had found out before spending a lot of money on Christmas.  I ended up making gifts for most everyone.  I enjoyed doing it, even though it was a lot of work, and I think everyone liked the things I made for them.

My attitude at work was harder to keep afloat.  I always acted professionally, but sometimes the griping behind the scenes got a little out of control.  Lesley and I continued along, our attitudes manic depressive, but we worked...we did our jobs right down to the last moment, trying to finish everything that could be finished and tying up any loose ends even as the bitterness grew within us.

The hardest pill to swallow for both of us was that the people taking over our jobs had no idea what our jobs even were.  They had never even seen the computer programs we used before.  We could tell they were going to screw it all up...and there was nothing we could do but wash our hands of it and walk away.

So, today was the first day of my actual unemployment as, had I not lost my job, yesterday would have been the New Years Holiday at my company.

I have managed to update my resume and sign up for unemployment.  I bought a newspaper and verified that there are no jobs listed in there worth having.  Now it's time to start examining my options.